True, everyone can say how extremely bad a movie is, not having a movie himself screening on the big screens, but I certainly can make my point! Interested? Keep reading:
I'd be ashamed of myself, being that out of imagination but still pushing forward just to have a sequel out there. Seriously mister Six, basic concept of a fan recreating his favorite movie? Would definitely work in the Horror-Genre, but dear sir, please work on the basics and don't keep them as the full story.
I actually like the base of the main character. Martin, our lead played by Laurence R. Harvey, being mentaly challenged, abused by his father what started as early as Martin being a Baby (based on the foley flashbacks), finding fullfillment in a sick, twisted movie like The Human Centipede. Martin looks perfect, I truly love how he symbolizes the perfect nuttjob, the perfect little weirdo from next door, capable of killing his own mother without blinking. (Heads off to the casting departement, long time not seen such an awesome cast). I also like the fact, that he is still living with his mother in a little, lousy apartement and is working the nightshift at a parking garage.
Seriously, Marting being able to kidnap people right off the park deck, shooting guns and spilling lots of blood in it, without having anyone notice, is pure, lame fantasy. To top it all, he even is able to leave a freaking kid in a car, for at least two days. But besides working in killers-heaven, where no one would ever notice anything, Martin is also a brilliant sharpshooter. If every bad guy, like Simon in Demolition Man, would shoot as good as Martin, most action movies would be over after five minutes, because the hero died of a bullet between his eyes. And to come to an end about Martin, did you recon how incredible strong this little guy is? I mean seriously, he is like one head shorter than the college kid, but he is able to carry even the king-kong bully from his apartement? Guess Hulk would be jealous.
Besides the obvious facts of lacking story around Martin, why is no one of the captives trying to escape? Seriously, you're being held in some sort of an old factory with lots and lots of sharp lumps around, wouldn't you try to cut the sticky tape? Or like work together with one of the other eleven, to bite those off? Na, why would you, everyone would just stick around on their belly and wait for the killer to come back (without even moving an inch)
So, people being dump in horror movies is nothing new, it's all about the shocks and scares in the movie? True that, I don't mind stupid people, if they are written well. Even the dumbest blonde in a common slasher like Texas, tries to freaking escape, mostly into some stupid meatfactory or something, but this is not the point. She is trying to escape, this is what everyone does, this is how people react in extreme situations, this makes a character more believable. My boredome starts right at the point when I see the captives the second time in the factory, still the same posistion, nobody tried anything. Those naked bodys are no humans to me, how could they if the writer was to freaking lazy to put any life in those characters?
Allright, so we don't have typical characters, or story, or tension to keep me watching this movie, BUT I DO HAVE GORE,TORTURE and lots of BLOOD?
BULLSHIT!
Seriously, all though speaking is minimized to a max of 5minutes in the whole movie, the final scene, when Martin has his twelve people together and he start working on them, there is nothing! No music, bad foleys and freaking annoying screams for at least 30minutes. I admit, I am pretty hardcore when it comes to watch gore and stuff, and I can see that a lot of people get the creeps when he smashes some teeth in with a hammer, and then goes fishing for them with his ugly little fingers. But even that scene gets boring, after we got shocked, it's more valuable to leave the shock in our mind and not showing it to us for another 10minutes (not talking only about the teeth, but the whole torture part). After to freaking much of torture, I almost fell asleep, but I figured there has to come something at the end, especially since I thought Part 1 was pretty ok-ish, but no. The lacking screenplay goes on, with running out of everything that has never been there, and when the credits role, I'm asking myself: what did I just watch?
And honestly, I can't really tell... The black'nd white took me off completely, if I try to remember what I just watched I have more pictures of "The cabinet of Dr. Caligari" in my mind than any Centipede stuff. Besides that, I'm still angry of all the lacking the movie has... Lack of intelligence, lack of conversations, lack of tension and even the lack of shock. After having 127 Hours showing everyone from parent to kid, how James Franco cut his own nerve in his arm, it's certainly not shocking enough for something extrem like Centipede.
I'd love to talk to Six himself and tell him how crappy this sequel is, but I don't really see this happening, that's why I hope that at least some of you folks out there share my oppinion on this.
Over and out, with something definitely NOT knightASTIC
